Does this scenario sound familiar to you? You offer your child sound advice that you know, with your years of wisdom, will benefit him or her. Said child acknowledges the excellent, even awe-inspiring advice, but does not heed it. You stand by as your child does what he or she thinks is best, only to come back to you at some future date with a complete change of plan or some amazingly, incredible idea that sounds wildly familiar to you.

As a parent, I have been known to offer advice or suggestions, from time to time, when my own 14-year-old son, Alex, is not the least bit interested. I also know that perhaps I should keep my mouth shut, but what's the fun in that?

Maybe your child won't follow your sound advice or suggestions, but he or she will follow someone else's. In the case of Alex, he is more open to heeding the advice or recommendation of his older brother, Josh.

Several months ago, my father told me about a great book he read that he thought would be relevant for Alex, who has been focused on being a kicker since he was 8 years old. The book is "Outliers, The story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell.

From Gladwell's back book cover, he "shows what really explains exceptionally successful people." His examples include the Beatles and Bill Gates. His research is based on the culture an individual grows up in and the way that person spends his or her time. Gladwell discusses the incredible relevance of the 10,000-Hour Rule. He also discusses how successful individuals are not islands unto themselves. Their success comes from multiple factors including timing and opportunity.

After reading the book, I thought it would be good to pass down the author's pearls of wisdom to Alex. My attempt to help was probably construed as dictator-like behavior, telling Alex how to run his life. I am convinced that whenever I brought up the book, Alex just heard white noise. I became the sounds of the dishwasher on rinse cycle. Reading excerpts to Alex was pointless. Ultimately I stopped discussing the book's related stories of success and it was soon happily forgotten by Alex.

Fast forward to present day. Last week, Alex returned from his second year at football kicking camp. He did well and learned a lot. He was feeling more self-motivated, which resulted in additional time spent on the football field and in our backyard practicing.

Right on the tails of kicking camp, while momentum was still in our favor, my family had the pleasure of speaking briefly with University of Maryland head football coach Ralph Friedgen. I asked coach Friedgen what words of wisdom he could impart on Alex in regard to becoming a kicker for the Terps. His words now serve as our kicking gospel. I just asked the question and got out of the way.

This past weekend, Josh came to stay with us for a visit. Although there are two decades that separate the brothers in age, they are very close. Josh is an awesome older brother who leads by example after example.

Josh brought Alex a bag of gifts. Before Josh would allow Alex to open the bag, he asked Alex to promise him that he would read the book he brought him. Because Alex does not like to read, there were a few questions that ensued. "Is it fiction or nonfiction?" "Nonfiction." "Is the book long or short?" "It's not long and easy to read. You will find it interesting."

There was some brotherly banter and finally Alex gave Josh his word that he would read the book by the time school starts.

Josh handed Alex the bag. Inside was cash for his Xbox subscription renewal, a T-shirt from Josh's honeymoon destination and a book. The book was "Outliers, The story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell.

user comments (0)