In all my 14 years of existence, I've probably gone to church about a dozen times. A couple of times with my grandparents, once or twice with my friends, funerals, weddings, etc. But I never thought it mattered. Some people went to church and some people -- my family -- didn't. What was the big deal? Well I've recently found out that it's a much bigger deal than I thought.

I've seen dozens of movies where the main character suffers some tragedy, or has to make a decision that will change his or her life permanently. After this, these people start to think about the "meaning of life," and in some movies this usually leads to one's religion. So far in my own life I haven't had to make any life-altering decisions. My life has been fairly simple all this time. So I've never really felt the need to think about my own life or beliefs.

It's probably good for a person to contemplate their beliefs, so they can understand life, and even themselves. After hearing my friends discuss their religions -- and seeing their shock at what little information I knew about my own -- I started thinking about this. I realized I never prayed to God. I thought church was boring. And all I knew about Jesus was that Christmas was his birthday and Easter was when he rose from the dead. I became worried. Was I wrong to not practice my religion more? Was I not going to get into heaven if I didn't go to church? I was also a little frustrated. Although I was worried that I was wrong to not practice my religion, I also didn't want to go to church, or pray every night. I didn't feel the need to, and I had never done so before. Did that make me a bad person? I talked to some of my friends about it a little, but they couldn't do much for me. Most of them couldn't relate to me that much. I decided I needed to talk to someone who could relate to me.

I view my dad as one of the smartest people in the world -- most of the time -- so I went to him for help. I learned that as a kid he struggled with the idea of religion too, but for very different reasons.

My dad was raised Catholic and attended both a Catholic grade school and high school, so he was exposed to a lot of religion when he was growing up. All throughout his school years he said he "struggled with the notion of religion, God and Jesus." He also questioned a lot of what his religion told him, like the general idea of God, or life after death. My dad later came to believe through his study of world history that "organized religion is imperfect, by the mere fact that it is instituted by humans to rule humans." So what was he supposed to believe? This decision was also made harder by the fact that there were so many contradictions to religion, such as that people pray for the destruction of others (war), but religion also inspires great people to produce amazing works of art (Michaelangelo). It was very confusing for him.

So my dad also faced many obstacles in discovering his own beliefs. This fact made me feel a little bit better about my own situation, even though the circumstances were different.

After a lot of contemplation -- and research, of course -- my dad came to a deduction. He told me, "I realized that faith and religion are not the same. Religion is an institutional organization, much like any other government or bureaucracy. Faith, in this sense, is the belief in an idea, even if that belief cannot be proved by logic or other scientific means." This also led my dad to his final conclusion that faith is what's most important, not what church you attend.

I learned a lot from my dad, and I even learned about my own beliefs. By listening to his reasonings and facts, I came to agree with a lot of what he told me. But I didn't agree with everything he said, and I know that's a good thing. I'm beginning to mold and shape my own faith. My belief in God is a good start. Being nice, thankful, and giving to others is exactly what Jesus would have wanted. I now understand that you don't need religion to have faith, but that many people do choose that path. The path I choose is totally up to me.

Michelle D'Apice is a freshman at Marriotts Ridge High School. She can be emailed at mphelan@theviewnewspapers.com.

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