Nancy Fayer loves spiritual music, but probably not for the same reason most people like it at this time of the year.

For Fayer, who lost her mother five years ago and works in bereavement at Gilchrest Hospice Care, the music strikes a healing chord.

“For me, it’s very much a release to hear the music,” Fayer said.

Fayer, a member of First Presbyterian Church of Howard County, in Columbia, is one of a growing number of people who attend special services for those who feel sad during the holiday season.

Called “Blue Christmas” or “Longest Night” services, the events are aimed at people dealing with such troubles as depression or the loss of a loved one.

“This service is an honest recognition that the Christmas season does not automatically bring with it joy,” said the Rev. Lori Hoffman Hays, pastor at St. James United Methodist Church in Marriottsville, which will hold such a service on Monday.

St. James’ service is called the Longest Night because it is held on the longest night of the year, which organizers said symbolizes the struggle with darkness that many face during challenging times.

St. James United is one of a handful of local churches that offers the holiday season services.

Another is Fayer’s church, First Presbyterian, which held its Blue Christmas service Dec. 13.

Kristine Holmes, pastoral care associate at the church, introduced the idea to her congregation after hearing about it at a parish nurse conference in 2003.
 
The nature of the service, which is meant to be quiet and meditative, was reflected in the dim lights within the sanctuary at First Presbyterian.
 
The service was divided into themes of lament, prayer, promise, comfort and remembrance.
 
“I think the service is very rich because it goes through the various parts of grieving,” said Fayer, of Ellicott City.

The hymns, scripture readings, poems and other prayers were picked to reflect the various themes that relate to grief.
 
For example, one portion of the service was the Litany of Lament, which included the line “Loneliness is a shawl we drape over our shoulders on empty nights.”
 
The portion of the service dedicated to comfort contained the recitation of a hymn titled “Comfort, Comfort You My People.”
 
Throughout the ceremony, candles were lit to symbolize light being brought back into the lives of those who are grieving, according to the service’s program.
 
“They acknowledge the suffering ... but then you move into the light,” Holmes said of the symbolism.
 
The services do not attract a large turnout, according to Holmes. About 10 people attended this year.
 
“It’s a very small, intimate group,” Holmes said. But, she added, “Whether you have five, 15 or two, it’s important to do it.”
 
Bringing ‘like people’ together

According to bereavement coordinator Alice Baij, who works for Evercare Hospice and Palliative Care, educating those who are experiencing loss about what they are feeling and reassuring them that they are not alone is the key to enduring the season.
 
“One way of doing that is to bring like people together,” Baij added.
 
After the service, parishioners were invited to share a dinner with fellow church members, and church leaders were made available to speak to those who needed counseling.
 
This period after the service was especially helpful to Paula Gaither, who first attended the service three years ago, during the first Christmas season after her husband died.
 
“I sobbed through most of the service,” Gaither recalled.
 
She said she was glad other church members talked her into staying for supper. Otherwise, she said, she would have gone home by herself and cried.
 
“The support and the camaraderie after ... was special,” Gaither said.
 
Fayer said the talking “sort of normalizes it. It doesn’t make you odd because you are grieving.”

At least one other church in the area, Glen Mar United Methodist Church in Ellicott City, is also holding a Longest Night service, on Saturday at 4 p.m.

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